Creativity in Prayer...

When your child is hurt, even if it is minor, you become VERY creative in your prayers.

“Please spare my child this pain...”

“Please let it be me instead...”

“Please help me make her see that she has more than one dream and more than one option in life...”

I feel selfish wrestling with this when there are parents tonight out there watching their children starve to death slowly... parents who are sitting by a hospital bed wondering if they have to say goodbye tonight or not... parents who do not know where their children are tonight.

This is just a wrenched knee and preventative medicine for an overeager athlete who thought she was a bit more indestructible than she proved to be.

But as she cried last night in Emergency, fearing suddenly that her dreams of a volleyball career or University scholarship (I must point out that she is only in Grade 9 but comes from two type A personality parents) were shattered, I wanted to do or promise anything to just be able to make it better.

When we came home and I got her to bed, creeping in to my own bed later after getting my work done, I was very creative with my prayers every time those dark fingers of fear curled their way around my heart. 

I thought about pointing out all her other gifts to her.  

I thought about the “wherever God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window” line.

I prayed pink clouds of healing surrounding her and her knee in the night.

I remembered the most important lesson that I have been learning along this journey.

Just breathe.  Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

INHALE: Sometimes we are most creative without holding anything in our hands.  No crafting supplies, no paintbrush, no pen.  Sometimes we are most Creative with the stirrings of our souls and our dreams, our prayers and our wishes, our plans and our possibilities.  As long as we remember that we always have choices and that there are always new options we might not have thought about, the curve balls that life tends to throw at us won’t be so bad.  That is SO much easier to type than to live out!

EXHALE:  Pick one worry in your life right now that feels overwhelming.  When you lie there trying to fall asleep or take a moment for yourself to journal, explore all the possibilities in your head.  What would be the worst thing that could happen?  How could you cope with that?  What might be a solution that you’ve overlooked as being too “out of the box”?  What have you got to lose?  Erin was given the choice to rest her knee now and see if it heals or know that she will miss out playing in the Easterns in 28 days.  Sometimes waiting and healing is all we can do.  Be Creative in your prayers and in how you face your fears!

The Seven Month Itch...

A funny thing happened since my last blog post... I forgot how to breathe.  As life threw one curve ball after another at me, I felt as if I was sucking small gasps of air through clenched teeth instead of nice, deep inhales and exhales.

I felt as if the only thing I had to say was a scream or a sob... and I felt crushed.

I’d had such grand plans when I dove into this experiment 7 months ago.  I had wonderful visions of filling each day with more joy and creativity than the day before.  I envisioned the wonderful, enviable person I would become as I shared this wonderful adventure with an eager, waiting world out there in cyberspace.  It was like a honeymoon!

This past month has definitely been more like a couple who have been married at least 7 years... the sparkle was starting to wear off as life kept crashing down around me.

I started to resent my Creativity when it whispered that I should take a bit of time out of the chaos to just breathe.  It was like a partner suddenly pointing out an annoying habit of leaving the cap off the toothpaste or socks on the floor.

As I threw myself into the colouring book illustration project with all the changes and approvals, the shift in personnel and the inner demons of self-doubt, my Creativity waited patiently, like a faithful lover waits on the couch on a Friday night for their partner to come home from overtime at the office.

As I scrambled to finish a knitted afghan for a member of my faith family struck down suddenly only to have them die before I could finish it, my Creativity hugged me in comfort and whispered that there would be someone else to appreciate the gift in time.

As I drove my hands, eyes and body to the brink with multiple deadlines, my Creativity chided me to find a better balance the way a spouse would point out that too many cookies is bad for the waistline.

I tried ignoring Creativity’s voice reminding me to just inhale and exhale, to imagine a bit, to dream a bit and to just ride this rough patch through.  I felt I had nothing to say to it, to myself or to the world.

Now with some of the deadlines passed and a crop of new pressures on the horizon, my Creativity and I have entered a new, deeper relationship.  I have learned that I don’t have to justify this adventure to myself or make it live up to some impossible standard, I just have to go through the process.

One breath at a time.

Inhale...

Exhale...

Repeat 

As I look back on what I did during the past  41 days of my life and the silence here in cyberspace, I can see how my Creativity prodded me, encouraged me and pestered me into living this adventure despite myself.  Here’s how I know.

• the lap quilt that would have been for Betty if she'd survived the stroke and heart attack...

• the scarf I finished for Erin just as the last of the snow melted...

• the ornament I designed and stitched for next fall's JCS ornament issue... sorry, you only get a tiny peek!

• the denim blue moss stitch scarf that only worked in the car and not at the volleyball games.  I kept forgetting to K or P!

• the logo designed for a friend's family reunion this summer...

• a glimpse at two of the quick sketches I did on my tablet hooked up to the smart board during a school visit where

Paul Burns (author of Owen & the Dinosaur) and I did an enrichment workshop where they created stories as a group while I illustrated the panels.

• the pink wool I picked up to knit a baby blanket for my cousin's little daughter who was just born a few weeks ago.  It is half done thanks to a 2 day tournament in Halifax as well as the drive there and back...

No Inhale or Exhale tonight... just the whisper "I'm Back!"

Facing Fears Creatively...

Sometimes in life there are things that scare us. What is easy for one person might be incredibly difficult for another. Ask me to draw a dinosaur roller-skating and I can do it in a flash. Ask me to speak in public to a crowd of 500? Bring it on! Ask me to do a quadratic equation or drive in a foreign country in someone else’s car... well that’s when my palms get a little sweaty.


I guess because my husband, Nick, is such a good driver and honestly loves to drive any type of car in almost any situation, I seldom drive on long trips in our van. That is PRIME knitting, staring at scenery or daydreaming time!


Being in Geneva, Switzerland this week to help out with my niece and nephew while my brother is away and my sister-in-law handles some major conference calls and then leaves on her own trip meant I was going to have to drive them to and from school each day as well as get them to their various weekly activities. In theory, that sounded a lot less scary than Sunday night and yesterday morning when Anne showed me the various routes I’d need to take. I tried not to panic on the outside as much as I was doing on the inside...


So what do you do when that cold grip of fear starts to take hold? Face your fears and think creatively!

INHALE When Fear strikes or there is something you need to do that will be difficult, the best thing to do is tackle it as soon as possible. Facing fear head on and attacking the problem is much better than ignoring it and hoping it will just go away. Bait is also very good. Once the rush hour traffic was over, I took Anne’s car out on the roads and traced the route I’d have to follow to pick them up later in the day. After that, I even went to the main department store in their area which had underground parking just a bit taller than I am. I was almost giddy with satisfaction once I parked the car and stepped into the store... so of course I rewarded myself with a new type of chocolate bar to try. Since losing my extra weight about 8 years ago and keeping it off, I try not to use food as a reward very often... but I am in a country where really EXCELLENT chocolate takes up almost a full grocery aisle! Need I say more?

EXHALE Find something in your life that you find difficult to do but that needs to be done. Spend 15 minutes and map out a road plan, write a list or brainstorm doodle ways to break that scary task down into some smaller steps. Martha Beck calls them Turtle Steps. Someone else once said “Just eat the elephant one bite at a time.” Taking the first step towards change can often be the hardest part. By thinking more creatively, you may find interesting solutions to challenges that have stumped you up until now. Plus, don’t forget to find some good bait!